Recently, I asked a client what they wanted, and they immediately lit up. (A good sign.) With an ear to ear grin, they said that they wanted to feel the way they felt when they were their most successful. They described with delight how each win attracted another win, causing their confidence to skyrocket through the roof. They basked in the memory of this feeling, then asked me to help them be successful again.
Honestly, for a second, I was thrown.
I was witnessing this beautiful sharing of a feeling – something they really wanted – until they switched gears on me, and asked for a success strategy.

There’s a common misconception that is probably the number one selling point of most self-help books: When you get want you want, you will be happy. Even when they teach about non-attachment, they include a story of how someone got what they wanted, because they weren’t attached, and then….they were happy.
This makes even my programs and workshops questionable. But ask anyone who’s worked with me and they’ll tell you that I point to how life actually works the other way around — When you are happy, you will get what you want.
Happy…. What does that even mean? Too often it’s described as a positive state (as opposed to a negative) that makes cameo appearances in between our usual, day-to-day states of being. It’s something that’s triggered by life situations and circumstances. Yet, deep down we know that’s not true, because we’ve experienced happiness seemingly out of nowhere, and for no apparent reason.

Here’s what I think: Human beings are not after a state of being called happiness, but rather a feeling filled with humor, peace, and a sense of freedom. A feeling that I like to call Home. Just like Dorothy Gale from Kansas, all we want is to go home.
When we’re Home, we’re our truest selves, comfortable and connected to the world whether we’re amongst crowds or simply alone. We’re plugged into the Wisdom of Ages and the Infinite Creativity of children. Free at last. Free at last.
When you decide to go after what you want in this incredible playground we call the physical world, start by going Home first. Because when you start from Home, everything is possible.