One New Year’s Eve, I was desperate to join my friends at a concert—but I was stuck waiting tables. Knowing it was a long shot, I asked my manager if I could be cut early. To my surprise, he said yes. A senior waitress nearby overheard and asked, “Why does she get to go home early?” He simply shrugged and said, “Because she asked.”
That moment stuck with me.
I’d made small asks all my life—some big ones too—but something about his response reframed everything. It showed me how powerful it is to just ask. It’s a lesson I’ve carried with me ever since. I’ve gotten such delight in getting yes-es. Most recently:
I asked the top commercial agency in L.A. to sign me – they did.
I asked the director/producer of Curb Your Enthusiasm for a direct booking — and he gave it to me!
I asked the L.A. SAG-AFTRA Conservatory to add me to their faculty – and they did!
I must admit that I was fully qualified for the yes-es, including at the restaurant where I was a reliable, long-time employee. But here’s the most common, heartbreaking thing:
Too often, we decide that
we don’t deserve it, aren’t qualified, or simply not good enough —
so we never even bother to ask.
Are you afraid of a ‘no’? Don’t be. “No” doesn’t move you backward, it simply leaves you where you are – no harm, no foul. But a “yes” has the power to unlock something new! Fear turns into neutrality and opportunity turns into self-care when you practice random asks of kindness on yourself. Just look into the eyes of a baby, and you’ll see that we’re all born deserving. We’re all born good enough.
“Sometimes it takes only one act
of kindness and caring
to change a person’s life.” —Jackie Chan