Tag Archives: clarity

GO HOME.

Posted on by
Reply

Recently, I asked a client what they wanted, and they immediately lit up. (A good sign.) With an ear to ear grin, they said that they wanted to feel the way they felt when they were their most successful. They described with delight how each win attracted another win, causing their confidence to skyrocket through the roof. They basked in the memory of this feeling, then asked me to help them be successful again.
Honestly, for a second, I was thrown.
I was witnessing this beautiful sharing of a feeling – something they really wanted – until they switched gears on me, and asked for a success strategy.

There’s a common misconception that is probably the number one selling point of most self-help books: When you get want you want, you will be happy. Even when they teach about non-attachment, they include a story of how someone got what they wanted, because they weren’t attached, and then….they were happy.
This makes even my programs and workshops questionable. But ask anyone who’s worked with me and they’ll tell you that I point to how life actually works the other way around — When you are happy, you will get what you want.
Happy…. What does that even mean? Too often it’s described as a positive state (as opposed to a negative) that makes cameo appearances in between our usual, day-to-day states of being. It’s something that’s triggered by life situations and circumstances. Yet, deep down we know that’s not true, because we’ve experienced happiness seemingly out of nowhere, and for no apparent reason.

Here’s what I think: Human beings are not after a state of being called happiness, but rather a feeling filled with humor, peace, and a sense of freedom. A feeling that I like to call Home. Just like Dorothy Gale from Kansas, all we want is to go home.
When we’re Home, we’re our truest selves, comfortable and connected to the world whether we’re amongst crowds or simply alone. We’re plugged into the Wisdom of Ages and the Infinite Creativity of children. Free at last. Free at last.
When you decide to go after what you want in this incredible playground we call the physical world, start by going Home first. Because when you start from Home, everything is possible.

Here’s Your Answer

Posted on by
Reply

In September 2024, I was nearly broke. Despite having learned financial discipline (fifteen years ago!) from Abundance Bound, I found myself slipping again. I thought I was doing all the right things, but something was off. I knew something — not sure what — had to change. Hiring a financial coach was out of the question—what sense did it make to spend money I didn’t really have? So, I crossed my fingers, closed my eyes, and hoped for the best.

My passion – my business – is helping those who know they have something they want to do, or have, or change, but need a way to see it through. When those people come to me, we sit together, and things start to quiet down. The noise of “shoulds” fades. The pressure lifts. Clarity takes shape. They stop spinning, and finally they focus on one true want—the one that actually excites them. And from that moment on, things start to move. Unless… they’re left to their own devices.

So why don’t we take the necessary steps even after finding our one true goal? One client expressed their block as the weight of childhood trauma. With me and money, it’s a sticky kind of embarrassment that whispers: How can I be so smart… and still be so dumb? My identity feels threatened. It freezes me.
But here’s what I’ve come to understand: (Analysis)Paralysis is a symptom of limited consciousness. We’ve come to believe the stories we’ve made up in our heads:

I can’t afford it. 
I’m not ready yet.
People won’t like my choices.

Indiana Jones contemplates taking the first step.

In spite of all of this, I managed to take off the lens of financial scarcity and took a step forward — hey, if your boat is sinking, you don’t haggle about repair costs. I re-invested in the financial wellness program, and once again, began the hard work.

A funny thing happens when we take that first step — we get answers, and our consciousness expands. It’s so obvious, yet we doubt it.

The Answers are in the Doing.

Until we take meaningful actions, we doubt that we ever could. But only after we do, do we see how capable we actually are. So then we take another next step. Then another.

By the end of December 2024, I was steadily on my way to financial wellness—and I had even managed to save money! The moment I took that first step, my energy shifted, I was open to new opportunities, and I booked several acting jobs.

By starting with just one step forward, I found the answers and the clarity I had been desperately seeking.

Why?

Posted on by

Let me share three questions that have kept me on track while keeping my eye on the prize. They have supported such goals as a 500 mile bicycle adventure, my move across country, and myValedictorian return to college at the age of 40 (just to name a few).

1. I ask myself, “Why?”

Sometimes we take on goals because we think we “should”. I should get in shape. I should go back to school. I should read more. Acting on these thoughts is usually a knee-jerk response to comparison to others. Unfortunately, there tends to be little follow-through, because we resent tasks that aren’t personal. (Were you ever forced to take music lessons? Join a sports team?) In order to succeed at any one thing, we must first ask ourselves why we want it. If our answer is dependent on the approval of others, then it’s time to reevaluate. And if we continue to ask “Why?” during the process of achieving it, our answer becomes clearer and clearer. So when taking on any new task/goal, life change, or career change, first ask, “Why do I want _____?”

2. Where do I spend my time?

The easiest way to see what we value is to review how much time (and money) we spend in certain areas. We may have made a goal to write a book, but upon examination we might discover that the time we actually spend on it is far less than the time we spend on say, working out. Maybe it’s just time to focus on getting in shape? And then ask ourselves “why” we want to get into shape. There is no “wrong” here, just clarity.

3. Is this still fun?

Nowadays, a person will change their career/job 7 times during their lifetime. But when is the right time to change? The question I always ask myself is, “Is this still fun?” As an actor, I almost always answer, yes. But when it doesn’t feel like fun, I go back to question #1 and ask myself “Why do I want (to act)?” My answer revitalizes me and usually has me exploring new options and honing my skills for the pure joy of it.

What questions help you along the way to your goals?