Best. Day. Ever.

Posted on October 20, 2016 by DC8

August 23, 2016. It was my sister’s birthday, but she was in Chicago, and I was pulling into a Malibu parking lot just before dawn.

It was kinda freaky being on the dark beach at 5:30am, and some of us weren’t quite sure where to park. Slowly, more and more people pulled their cars into the state beach parking lot, and then got breakfast from the catering truck. Every person I encountered was genuinely nice. Every. Single. One. I was shown my trailer, but had to immediately go into hair & make-up. (My breakfast had to wait, but no worries – my trailer had a microwave!) The make-up artist shared the story of how she met her husband, and we both agreed that Indian men are hot.

The actor sitting next to me extended his hand, and said, “Hi, I’m Justin.” He was very handsome, but I didn’t know what role he’d play in this episode. As I moved across the trailer to the “hair” side, I saw them finishing up with Gina Rodriguez, the show’s star. I’m always a little startled when I’m being made up with a star. Not because I’m starstruck, but because I’m jolted into the reality that we are both here to work. We’re both here to play make believe and create something fun for millions of people. It’s weird. And it’s awesome.

As we arrived on location, the sun was up, a crew of at least a hundred people, and dozens of extras filled the scene. I got mic’d first on my thigh, then the normal way. Not sure why they thought they needed to go up my skirt at first, but sue me – I loved being fussed over by cute men! While we waited for tech set up, Gina, Justin and I sat in our director’s chairs – our director’s chairs! By this time, I had figured out that Justin Baldoni was one of the stars too – doh! Hanging out with them felt so normal. It was easy to ask for a group selfie.

My part was wrapped by 10:30am. I walked back to my car, knowing that I had been part of one of television’s top shows, had been treated like a queen, had worked with the show’s “favorite” director, and casually shot the breeze with TV stars. I didn’t want to leave, so I took off my shoes and rolled up my jeans. I walked straight out onto the beach and waded in the ocean. When I had my fill of playing with the rolling tide and wet sand, I sat down in the sun for just a little longer. The warmth penetrating my skin and the breeze flirting with me felt like …. unconditional love. Yeah, unconditional love.

She Wants to Lead a Glamorous Life

Posted on April 5, 2016 by DC8

Giving “Rosie” some information.

So last week, my episode on FOX’s Rosewood aired. I took my time seeing it, because doing a one-liner is no big deal. And yet it is.

It had been way too long time since I booked a TV gig. When I finally did, it felt like I had climbed out of a well, was hanging over the edge, and trying to catch my breath. And the sun felt good on my face.

When I got the call for the co-star audition, I was looking forward to seeing the casting director again, because it had been years, and he was one of the kindest CDs I met when I first came to town. On the other hand, I hated going in for “the maid”. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem going in for a domestic, but I never get cast in that type of role no matter how hard I try. I started to think that not only was it a waste of time, it was (geez) only one line, I wasn’t gonna get it anyway, and I should really just call my agent to say I can’t make it.

Wait. WHAT?

I was actually talking myself out of an audition! And I’d been subconsciously doing this kind of stuff for some time, which is what had kept me down in that dark-yet-comfortable well to begin with.

The actual shoot was less than glamorous. I was immediately put into a maid’s outfit, and my hair & make-up were . . . “domestic”. I sat in my trailer far, far away from the actual shooting, so I just read my book. The trailer got colder as the hours went by. It was five hours before I was called to set. By the time they shot my scene, the cast & crew were ready to go home. I made a point of just doing my job with no fuss, thinking that no one should really notice me. Yet the writer immediately approached me for a line adjustment, the director introduced himself, the guest star generously shared fancy soaps with me (we were in a hotel), and the star of the show was . . . gorgeous. I was out in under an hour, then drove the 50 miles home. Yes, that day I worked doing what I love.

Externally, it wasn’t such a big deal, but internally, it really was.

Transforming Work into Play

Posted on December 6, 2015 by DC8

So I’ve been re-listening to the philosopher, Alan Watts, talk about the concept of turning work into play, and this always excites me. He lays out examples of how tasks that are usually approached with a sense of dread and suffering, can instead be approached with a sense of playfulness and freedom. He illustrates the difference between work and play. The former must have a purpose/outcome, and the latter is done simply for joy (weeeee!). Our culture teaches us not only to separate one from the other, but to prioritize work over play. Watts suggests we blur the lines between the two.

So how do we do that? Take anything that we “have to” do. That’s what we call work. First notice how anticipating it makes us feel (yuck), and let it go. Let. It. Go. That dreadful feeling is entirely unnecessary, and just creates stress. Now, as we begin the actual work, the game is to focus only on that tiny bit we’re doing right now. Yes, this is Zen. This is being present: One moment at a time, with no self-critique and no urgency. IMPORTANT – the minute the mind wanders into thoughts of deadlines and judgment, we lose our sense of play.

That being said, I must mention there are immediate results to this. I can point to two amazing things that come out of play: 1.) Work becomes stress-free, and 2.) Magically, there is time for everything. I’m not kidding. I could try to convince you of these benefits but that would just be too much work.

Is Inertia a Dirty Word?

Posted on November 29, 2015 by DC8

I’m walking through mud.

It literally feels like I’m walking through mud.

There’s this sudden, inevitable halting that is part of growth. Ugh, where did this mud come from, and why didn’t I see it coming? There’s no way I thought, “Hey, here’s some mud. I think I’ll slow down my trajectory, push my goals further off, and walk around in this crap for awhile.”

Resistance only occurs with movement.

Our blessing and curse as humans is our desire for more. Not more “stuff” (yet don’t get me started on the lie that is Black Friday), but more out of life. More energy. More recognition. More challenges. Cool, I know I can do that thing, now I wanna move on and do that other thing! It never ends. More more more. What we forget – every time – is that getting to the next level requires change. Everybody wants change. Nobody wants to go through change.

In order to become more than what we were yesterday, we must accept change. It’s a vicious, delicious, singularly human cycle. If you’re feeling sluggish, heartbroken, hopeless, angry, humiliated, resentful, rejected, etc. know that you’re definitely growing through something. Question is, are you going to see it as something that is happening to you? Or are you going to plant your ass down, push your fingers through the mud, and say, “Thanks, Yin – it’s because of you I will also have Yang. Bigger, better Yang.”

What Makes Your Acting Career Grow?

Posted on September 28, 2015 by DC8

All of my life, I’ve been so devoted to my career that it would take me by surprise when I’d see some actors not do obvious things like submit for auditions or mail the headshots they just paid hundreds of dollars for, or even trying to learn about the business. They never understood the value and the payoff of “planting seeds”.

For instance, when I was working in Chicago, a theatre director called me in for a lead in a show I never submitted for, and was ultimately cast. My roommate, a fellow “actor”, said, “Hunh – must be nice.” Her tone implied how “it must be nice not to have to do anything and still get a called in”. I was speechless. Had she not seen me bust my butt over the last several years, auditioning, auditioning, doing staged readings, auditioning, performing, auditioning, doing free work, performing, etc? Did she not see how it made perfect sense that my name would come up for this kind of role, because I had already worked so much around town? I mean, we’re talking years. (Truth is, she never submitted for anything.)

So what I’m saying is, it’s vital to plant seeds. Yet doing activities that are supposed to get us ahead when they have no immediate result, is the hardest thing to do. So we don’t, and we’re back to where we started for another day . . . another week . . . another month . . . another year.

This is why I hold Action Groups. This is why my programs do the things that actors just can’t bring themselves to do. Even if you don’t work with me, do something that will hold you accountable. Do something that will make the tasks easier for you. Just don’t do nothing. Nothing grows from nothing.

The Golden Rule of Marketing

Posted on July 13, 2015 by DC8

I receive several newsletters from entrepreneurs and/or artists in LA. They come in several different forms, and some are better than others. I may not read them all, but I tend to open them all because they are my colleagues. But what actually entices me to read them? Content.

The Internet, at the beginning of this 21st century, is essentially the “Wild West” with no law enforcement and it’s free to anyone willing to travel it! How awesome is that? This has, however, created a sea of “experts” in social media, but who has the best advice? The one that applies to you. But how can you be effective unless you know who/what you ARE!

“Who . . . are . . . YOU?

Better than giving you a list of “10 Dos and Don’ts” (the most common device used in e-marketing), I’m going to cut to the Golden Rule of Self-Marketing: Share who you ARE. This is too often confused with sharing what you do. While I don’t pay much attention to where my musician friends are gigging this month, I do care how much they love what they’re doing, and this sets the tone of their entire newsletter. I don’t practice yoga, but I read my friend’s yoga news, because she shares her world travels and spiritual experiences.

So if you’re sending out newsletters as a form of self-marketing, always ask, “What can I share about myself, and how does this help others?” I think actors make the most mistakes, when they just send a list of recent bookings. Ask yourself, how does this help others? Instead, share an on-set story, or something you learned along the way. It doesn’t matter what you do, it matters who you are.

I Have Too Much Money

Posted on May 17, 2015 by DC8

Yep, that’s my problem – I have more money than I can handle. And as long as I continue to believe that, it will forever slip through my fingers.

Over the last 5 months, I’ve taken money education classes through the Actors Fund in Los Angeles. The first seven weeks we examined our earliest money memories, our family history, our assumptions about money, and more. This was not easy, but with carefully guided homework and weekly discussions led by a professional social worker, we saw things more clearly. We discovered that while we (all artists) claimed to be broke or bad with money, none of us had the same amount of it. None of us had the same parenting around it, and none of us had the same “script”.

For years, I thought my script was one of “scarcity issues”. Turns out, that’s just a catchphrase used to sell wealth seminars. When I discovered what my true script was, the clouds parted, and I was ready to take on the next phase of unearthing my real numbers. Discovering exactly what I earned and spent each month – down to the penny – was both terrifying and liberating. Louise Hay says, “In order to clean your house you have to see the dirt.”

Money is just one facet of our lives that needs identification. It also applies to our talents – if we don’t know what are talents are, we will never use them wisely. When I work with entrepreneurs and artists (one in the same, really) I say, It’s not who you know, it’s who knows you. And we must begin with ourselves. What do I want? What kind of person do I want to be known as? What brings me joy? When we recognize who we really are, it frees us to fully express it. We no longer give away or talents, but instead we use them wisely, and life no longer slips through our fingers.

Why?

Posted on March 23, 2015 by DC8

Let me share three questions that have kept me on track while keeping my eye on the prize. They have supported such goals as a 500 mile bicycle adventure, my move across country, and my Valedictorian return to college at the age of 40 (just to name a few).

1. I ask myself, “Why?”

Sometimes we take on goals because we think we “should”. I should get in shape. I should go back to school. I should read more. Acting on these thoughts is usually a knee-jerk response to comparison to others. Unfortunately, there tends to be little follow-through, because we resent tasks that aren’t personal. (Were you ever forced to take music lessons? Join a sports team?) In order to succeed at any one thing, we must first ask ourselves why we want it. If our answer is dependent on the approval of others, then it’s time to reevaluate. And if we continue to ask “Why?” during the process of achieving it, our answer becomes clearer and clearer. So when taking on any new task/goal, life change, or career change, first ask, “Why do I want _____?”

2. Where do I spend my time?

The easiest way to see what we value is to review how much time (and money) we spend in certain areas. We may have made a goal to write a book, but upon examination we might discover that the time we actually spend on it is far less than the time we spend on say, working out. Maybe it’s just time to focus on getting in shape? And then ask ourselves “why” we want to get into shape. There is no “wrong” here, just clarity.

3. Is this still fun?

Nowadays, a person will change their career/job 7 times during their lifetime. But when is the right time to change? The question I always ask myself is, “Is this still fun?” As an actor, I almost always answer, yes. But when it doesn’t feel like fun, I go back to question #1 and ask myself “Why do I want (to act)?” My answer revitalizes me and usually has me exploring new options and honing my skills for the pure joy of it.

What questions help you along the way to your goals?

Careful What You Wish For!

Posted on December 28, 2014 by DC8

“Be Careful What You Wish For” is a common theme in fairy tales and children’s books. (Not to mention classic films, like “It’s a Wonderful Life”.) We want to teach society at a very young age the lesson of seeing the truth in what we value. The problem is, the more we get distracted with other people’s beliefs, the more we disregard this lesson. Writers, actors, directors, and musicians wish for experiences that (we are told) will prove to the world we are “successful and respected”.

After Christmas dinner, my cousin and I were talking about the Action Groups I facilitate. Trying to be funny, he said, “Can I come? I wanna make a million dollars!” Most people believe that becoming a millionaire is impossible, meant only for those with privileged lives or luck. I wonder where this belief came from, and why we insist that it is true? I decided to welcome his “wish”, and began to lay the groundwork around renewing his mindset. He started to see how anything could be a legitimate goal and not just a joke.

Before dinner, he talked about his job with very little energy. He didn’t seem to like it much, he commuted 100 miles each way, and he was counting down the days until his retirement. No wonder having a millions dollars seemed a good solution. (The truth is, he likes to spend his money faster than he can earn it.) I wondered what he really longed for since the money would just evaporate anyway. I believe he longed for what the million dollars symbolized: security, freedom, and fun.

Later on we discussed the logistics of me visiting him for a weekend, meeting his friends, and hanging out. He said, “As we get older, our friends change, but it becomes more important to spend time with family.” Here it was. This is what he really valued, and he wanted me to share it with him: a weekend of security (in familial bonds), freedom (from workaday drudgery), and fun. There was no need for intense financial planning or years of sacrifice to make a million dollars if he could get what he valued right here, right now.

Eating with the Seasons

Posted on November 13, 2014 by DC8

Frankly, I get a little shaken up when I see gutted pumpkins on people’s doorsteps. It seems we only use squash as a decorative medium or as part of a toddler’s playground called a pumpkin patch. Do we ever teach our children to eat it? Only in America do we have the audacity to use good, edible food for decoration. OK, I’m stepping off my soapbox.

Zucchini. Not as festive as the pumpkin, and often overlooked. It seems the only thing we do with it is mix it in with sugar and flour and make zucchini bread. As if we needed another empty carb during the holidays? So I decided to experiment and use it. Guess what? Zucchini is easy! Here’s what I did:

DAY 1: Zucchini and Tofu Tacos DAY 2: Zucchini Omelette

TIP: Always add colorful foods to your dish!

TIP: Always add “live” foods to your plate (i.e., zucchini & grapefruit).

DAY 3: Zucchini Breakfast Burritos

TIP: Eat with the seasons, i.e. add apples as a side dish!

DAY 4: Zucchini Butter with Sweet Potato!

TIP: Use coconut oil instead of olive oil when cooking.

TIP: Good carbs have fiber. Bad carbs have nothing.

I hope this post was inspiring. Shoot me back some healthy recipes of your own!

The Recognized Actor

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