LAW #2 Giving (and Receiving)

At some point or another every actor has done an exercise of give and take. It usually consists of meandering around the stage, clapping at each other, and making strange sounds. Although this is an effective exercise that hones holistic listening skills, it’s not what I’m talking about here. Back in the day, Martin DuMaat – one of Chicago’s most influential improv teachers –  had one direction for improv scenes: “It’s your scene partner’s birthday,” he used to say. He went on to explain that scenes flow when each actor gives his partner “gifts”. It was in the giving, that the inevitable receiving would instantaneously occur. And like breathing, every inhale exists because of an exhale. What is “gifting your partner”? It’s a lot of things, but mostly it’s

The conscious introduction of discoveries.

Not new ideas or inventions, but discoveries – discoveries that go beyond the usual ones of location (where) and activity (what).  Over and over again we see players throwing out “wacky” situations in zany locales in order to get a laugh. (They’re usually inventions anyway.) That’s fun, but for the most part, it’s playing for the end product – the joke. An honest improvisor plays for the now, not for the future. I’m not saying that the where & what can’t come by honestly. I’m saying that they must be discovered in the moment as opposed to being discovered as a joke. If you play the joke, then the back and forth ends right there. End of scene. (I’m talking about the joke, not the game.) But if you’re genuinely in the moment, you will infinitely discover infinite possibilities. By stating them, or living them into the scene, you have now given your partner “gifts”. So what happens next? Their in-the-moment-response (receiving) will spark another discovery, and so on. And deeper discoveries will emerge, like relationship (who) and needs (why).

If you think (key word, think) that your scene partner is giving you nothing, then you’re judging them, their gift, and you’re judging/limiting your ability to receive. Now it’s your turn to play as if they think it’s your birthday. Let go of the judgment, and see them as their character. When the character “gives nothing”, that’s something wonderful – the actor is actually giving you something for your on-stage relationship. Too often an actor will see a glimpse of something, but not respond to it, and later will say “Hey, I thought you were gonna blah, blah, blah, so I waited for you to blah, blah, blah.” Don’t ever assume. Don’t ever wait for your partner to do what you expect. Find joy in the unexpected, and respond to it. Unless that gift is received, then infinite discoveries will shrink into finite ideas. Beware of an opposite reaction as well: being caught up in your partner’s talent. At some point we all find ourselves performing with someone who is  . . . amazing. Our reaction might be to feel as if we need to be just as good. We might fear that this expert will find us boring or become frustrated with our lack of equal genius, so we scramble to keep pace or be clever. Funny how those knee-jerk reactions take over, huh? Know this: if you’re performing with a highly talented improvisor – they are not judging you. They, in fact, delight in everything you do, because they have learned how to receive all gifts.

This is law because it always exists. Like breathing, if you stop the exchange, you die. Can a scene be resuscitated? Always. Whatever we receive or perceive from our partner automatically generates a response. If we fight against that response, then we are not working with the Law of Giving and Receiving. If we allow the Law to be, then we will all succeed.

Accidental Gifts

Sarcasm’s a tricky thing, isn’t it? Last week I was heading into the 7-11, when I noticed an elderly man in a wheelchair asking a couple for a handout. The boyfriend stopped, but the woman – who was using a walker – paused in front of the doorway. “Oh he’s always asking people to do things for him!” she snapped. opendoorBut before anyone could respond, I opened the door for her and said, “And let me do this for you.” She thanked me several times and told me how sweet I was, completely missing the irony. This ticked me off. I wasn’t trying to be nice, I was trying to teach her a lesson in compassion! How annoying to mistake my finger wagging for a courteous gesture! Truth? When she saw kindness in me instead of a smartass, her focus changed, her mood changed, and she went inside the store with a big stupid smile on her face. I gave her crap, but she saw compassion.

So how do we take life’s crap and as see it as a gift? postman A crappy gift I received last year was facial eczema. It was horrible. It worked its way across my face in excruciating two week cycles: first the skin became inflamed like a severe sunburn, then it dried, pulled and tightened across my eyes and mouth like latex make-up, and finally it would crack, peel and flake. No sooner had the flaking subsided, did the painful “sunburn” start all over again. I could no longer wear my contact lenses, and the slightest brush of my hair would trigger insatiable itching. This went on for months.

I didn’t want to be angry about this – my skin was trying to tell me something, right?  I saw a Doctor of Asian Medicine, early-acupuncture-imageand she prescribed an extreme diet change: no gluten, dairy, coffee, soda, spices, alcohol, chocolate, onions, garlic, dark fruits, brown rice, nuts, etc. This truly sucked. She also prescribed frequent acupuncture sessions and many, many Chinese herbs. After three months, I saw waves of healing and recurrence, but I could no longer afford her. I still stuck with the diet, though. Along the way, I found a meditation practice that provided the only peaceful time in my day. About five months later, things were starting to improve: the cycles were now separated by longer time periods of peaceful skin. Yet it would always return. I knew I needed help, so I contacted my aunt who is an Integrative Doctor in the adrenal_test_kit_clinical_pakMidwest. Before I could say anything, she generously offered to work with me long distance. After a full lab analysis, (did you know you can FedEx your body fluids?) it was determined that something was “off” in my gut. She prescribed supplements: fish oils, probiotics, vitamin D, folic acid, digestive enzymes, etc. She also warned me against corn and soy. Really?

What’s working for me, may not work for you. Every body’s different.  I’ve been faithfully taking my supplements (about six a day),  and I’ve reduced my daily diet restrictions to gluten, coffee, soda, and dairy. Now and again I will see barely noticeable rough patches when I eat “bad” foods, but they clear up quickly.  It’s been fifteen months since the eczema began, and today I am grateful for it. It has brought about lifestyle changes that I had put on the back burner for years:

  • Integrative Medicine
  • Daily meditation
  • Conscious eating

If not for the eczema, I’d still be bombarding my system with “harmless” foods, until a perhaps worse situation appeared. I never would have investigated my gut health and discovered deficiencies before they got worse. I also never would have committed to a meditation practice, which grounds me, and regularly brings sweet insights. I awoke to this one last spring:Lotus position on the edge of a cliff

And at every moment, in every day, there is opportunity to receive all gifts.

 

How to Dodge the Flying Sh*t

slippery-slope-3One year ago, the beginning of my downward spiral began. On September 11th, my boyfriend’s father called to say he didn’t have long to live. I drove my boyfriend to the airport, supporting him with strength and optimism. I thought he’d be back in two weeks. Instead, he spent four months tending to his dad’s declining health. From September to January, I drove back and forth from my place to his – over the hill and back – to forward his mail and personal items, water his (now dead) plants, and care for his cat. Kitty’s renal failure required special care. As bad timing would have it, I began to suffer from painful facial eczema that greatly affected my quality of life. My strength and optimism were beginning to wane. Just before Thanksgiving, my computer died. With all my running around I had no time to see friends. I was quite alone, and started to feel it. We decided it was best if I moved in to his place. I felt a sense of relief, but now I was looking at having to purge thirteen years of my lifePallBearers. On New Year’s Eve, I gave my thirty days’ notice, and on January 3rd, my boyfriend’s father died. I had my phone turned off when he tried to call me. Epic Fail.

I jumped on a plane to help with his dad’s funeral, but didn’t expect to help with his mom as well. Dementia was setting in, and now her son had a new reason to stay even longer. Back in L.A., I had to either sell or give away most of my belongings before I could move. It wasn’t until March when I felt I could finally catch up with my business and my life. (Really, there is no “catching up”).

Now six months had passed, and my savings were drained. Commercial auditions were unusually scarce, and theater jobs trickled. I still suffered from the eczema, buGetting to know yout could no longer afford a doctor. In May, Kitty was diagnosed with cancer and needed even more care. In June, my theatrical agent went out of business, I had a terrible falling out with a friend, and my dentist informed me that I needed a $1000 crown. July was a very dark month. Then on August on 29th – in the vein of “wfronthat else could go wrong?” –  my parked car was totaled by a reckless driver.

Don’t’ ask me if I can see that “everything happens for a reason”. That’s a question to occupy the mind, not the heart. Here is what my heart awakened to: Every terrible thing I experienced gave me something concrete to fix/solve, and every single time, it revealed itself as a distraction. Everything distracted me from working on my art and on my business. This is not to say that I place no importance on these outside events. I very much do. What they’ve brought to my attention, however, is my willingness to put my art and my business aside in favor of them. There are no clear outcomes, no guaranteed results in creative endeavors. To do the work for the sake of doing the work is “poo-pooed” in our culture – How can you enjoy (fill in the blank) when (fill in the blank) has happened? Are you making money at it? Are you forwarding your career? These questions are nothing but excuses for not showing up to the canvas. couch_potatoDuring hard times, it is more acceptable to self medicate in front of the TV than it is to expand ourselves. What we must see is that exercising our talents – with no societal agenda or audience approval –  is how we feel better, feel joy, and reap the rewards.

What is that thing you’ve been yearning to do that will expand your talents and put a smile on your face? doingMakeUpAre you too busy checking off your to-do list to get down to the real work? Are you doing the work, but repeatedly coming up for air to see if someone is clapping? Expanding our talents is what we are meant to do. It is not selfish. It is mandatory, and it gets us through the hard times.

LAW #1 Infinite Creativity

Get Out of Your Head

Get Out of Your Head

Get out of your head and you will have access to infinite possibilities. How many times have we been told, “Get out of your head”? The problem is, the harder we try, the more we’re sure to stay in it. When our minds are occupied by thoughts of trying  to think ahead or trying to find the joke/game or what furthers the plot, we are no longer open to every possibility. So what to do? Get out of your head and get into  . . . the now.  You might ask: But if I get out of my amazing memory of impressive facts, how can I wow the audience with quick wit and pop culture trivia? Or, how can I make the scenes relevant without implementing current events and philosophical references? Personally, I hate when a stage gets littered with “clever clutter”. It’s a guaranteed sign that the actors don’t trust the scene. The 13th century poet and mystic, Rumi, said, “Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.” Observe the artist who successfully suspends their rational, linear mind andmoves ‘into the zone’. It’s when your thinking mind lures you out of the zone – out of the “now” –that you resort to the clutter. Be present. Look at your partner. Look at them entirely. Really look at them. (Or really feel them.) When you get into the present, your mind stops, and everything that is important rises to the surface. Compare the hyperactive dispensing of cleverisms to a string quartet where the musicians are banging on their instruments. If the “chatter” is noisy, then no one will notice the subtle pluck of the perfectly tuned viola. That subtle pluck could be what takes you to the next level of relationship and scenic progression. That subtle pluck was probably the heart of the scene. If you’d rather make a joke, then that subtle pluck will never be heard.

“Law” is such a harsh word

Most dictionaries define “law” in terms of government or the legal system. I finally found this one in dictionary.com:

A statement J.Lo describing a relationship observed to be invariable Makers: between or among Madison phenomena for all cases in which the specified conditions are met: the law of wholesale NBA jerseys gravity.

 

The Laws of Improv are simply that. They are not something to be obeyed, but rather something you surrender to. If you hold on tight to cheap NBA jerseys old assumptions, then you don’t allow cheap mlb jerseys room for the Law of Infinite cheap jerseys Creativity. I want to make it clear that these laws are not harsh, nor will you be “punished” for not using them. Again, you can’t really use them, you de simply allow them. So let’s look at the first law, The Law of Infiinite Creativity, for example. If you ever Laws find yourself in a scene where you hit a wall, you are frozen, stymied, etc. it’s only because you’ve closed yourself off to the fact that you have access to limitless possibilities. It’s as simply as wholesale jerseys that. The solution? Laugh about the fact that you’re in you’re head, relax, and allow.

I’m not Moses, but I’ve got these Laws . . .

Link

I was inspired to write a book about the Laws of Improv, because after so many years of watching improvisation become “mainstream”, I was still shocked to see how many people thought it was something that only “funny, clever” people did, or worse – feared it. I’m not that clever, but I do have more funny moments than the average person. Hitting those moments (quite by accident) gave me encouragement to move forward. I took it as a hint to further explore other different forms, but at no time was I ever afraid. I took my fearlessness for granted. Recently, I thought I should look inward to see why I was so attracted to improv and why I loved it so. I asked myself: What is it in me that makes me fearless without a script? Why am I so excited about uncertainty? It seems that I – and many others– was born with a  knowing. A knowing that is there for everybody. This is when I began to put it into words. While doing this, I was surprised to learn that a very skilled improv friend did not have this innate knowing, but that years ago had forced themselves to cultivate it. What if they had this information 20 years ago?

 

We all know the basic rules of improv: Don’t ask questions, Don’t deny, YesAnd, etc. But these rules can and have been broken by many a seasoned improviser. We’ve seen it, and it gives us delight to see how a pro handles it. What I now discovered – literally at my kitchen table – is that there are Laws of Improv, and these can never be broken. They are like the laws of physics   – they just are. I’m hoping that these Laws will bring you a sense of relief and peace. Knowing that no matter what you to do, these laws will never change and you can find comfort in them. Once you fully understand them and make them part of your play time, you will be able to achieve great things. After all, air travel is only possible by understanding the Law of Gravity.