Will “Liking” Me Get Me Work?

Posted on September 18, 2014 by DC8

Every day I see actors asking for “Likes” for their IMDb or Facebook Page. Somewhere in some “marketing” seminar someone has told us that this is how actors get work. We are told stories of how producers narrow down their choices to whoever has the greatest social media following. We are shown charts and statistics that “prove” their point. So every day I see actors scrambling . . . to get more “Likes”.

This concept never sat well with me. Something in my gut said, “No, this is not true. This is not how an actor gets work.” I couldn’t prove it, I couldn’t argue it, because there was always some random example of how it worked for “someone”. (Most likely because the producers needed the talent’s “friend” list more than their talent.) But here is what I have witnessed:

Working actors are “well liked”, while actors scrambling for “likes” are not working.

It’s simply a reversal of events, and comes down to two things: working actors go out into the real world and grow their network (hence more “likes”), and they have something to offer their followers. We see production stills, personal stories, funny or insightful observations, photos from industry events, etc. The Non-Working Scrambler re-posts links and quotes from other sources and we only hear from them when they need an audience or money for their crowdfunding campaign. If we reverse our actions and maker better use our time by scrambling for work in the real world, our rewards will be far greater and more tangible than scrambling for “likes” in the virtual world.

I am writing this as I contemplate opening up my Profile Page to the general public. What to do?

I Work So Hard . . . and yet, Something is Missing.

Posted on September 15, 2014 by DC8

Throughout my business, I’ve had the privilege to speak with many artists about their career needs. The conversation almost always comes down to this: Something is missing. When asked what it is they really want, an actor will usually say, “I want to be a working actor,” but when we go through the reality of what that looks like, they realize that getting a paycheck for “any gig” is not what they’re looking for either. Time and time and again we assume that all of our problems will be solved if we could only get work. And that’s usually not the case.

I forget who said this, but it’s wise and it’s true: “We are not hungry for what we’re not getting. We’re hungry for want we’re not giving.”

I named my company The Recognized Actor, because I believe that every person’s deepest desire is to be seen. Some of us confuse this with fame, but it’s really recognition. It’s recognition for what we contribute to our tribes.

If we look outside of ourselves for it, we are seduced into traps of following rules, people-pleasing, or working “hard”. I’ve learned, however, that outside recognition – because of its transitory nature – is never satisfying. The only satisfying recognition comes from within. Self-acceptance. When we accept who we are (an ever-evolving process) our real values rise to the surface, and we discover that most old beliefs actually belong to someone else. When we accept where we are, we let go of comparisons and the need to live someone else’s life. When we recognize our real values, we become mindful of our habits, and begin to make right choices. We are exemplary in the smallest of tasks. We experience joy in conscious living. And finally, we realize that all of our desires already exist inside of us, and that the only thing – the only thing – keeping us from them is resistance.

This is why I created Action Groups – a safe place for artists to meet, redefine their goals, and get support in taking that next step. Facilitating these groups has opened me up to greater compassion, acknowledgement and leadership in my everyday life. If you can’t join one of mine, I urge you to find a group that values you and helps you find that “missing piece” of being recognized for what you contribute to the world.

ACTORS – Get Instant Results Now!

Posted on September 15, 2014 by DC8

Every day, I see promises of instant results. Actors are targeted more than we care to admit. We so desperately want a change in our careers that we actually believe the promises are true. Worse, we believe that instant results are better than long-term results. Most people would rather pop a pill to cure their aches and pains instead of investing in regular body movement like Tai Chi or morning walks. The red flag for these promises is usually a number in the ad like, “Top 6 Foods for Weight Loss!” “Top 3 Ways to Triple Your Income!” We see the number 10 (or less) and suddenly intense hope fills our being, and hope springs eternal.

My recent booking slump has really me gotten down. I resisted seeking help, because like most actors, I told myself that I couldn’t afford it. I kept hoping that something would turn around. Finally, I realized that I couldn’t afford not to seek help. After investing in private coaching, I felt confident and energized. I breezed into my auditions knowing that things were changing for me. I planned my month in advance as if I booked everything. Then . . . crickets. No bookings and only one callback. I can’t understand this. I mean, when I first came to town, opportunities just flowed to me. Bookings came immediately and often – all with no agent and no coach. Then yesterday, while I was doing the dishes, it occurred to me that I was looking for instant results.

Don’t get me wrong – I believe that good things can happen right away. (In fact, they have.) I also believe that hope is necessary. It is, after all, the only thing that fuels our pursuit of happiness. What is wrong, I believe, is getting caught in the trap that the artist’s journey is linear – believing that if I do A, B, & C, then D will automatically happen. What is wrong is sitting in the disappointment of non-instant results. I believe in the coach, the support group, the “Top 10 Tips”, but I also know that these artists’ survival tools are meant to used over and over and over. When I do the daily work, expect nothing, and hope for everything, the world of all possibilities opens up to me.

What is a “Weekend” for the Artist?

Posted on September 12, 2014 by DC8

Dowton’s Abbey’s Lady Grantham’s character was best summed up in her remark at the dinner table when she asked, “What . . . is a ‘weekend’?” Their dinner guest was a doctor – someone who actually worked for a living – and he confused the Dowager with this term. While it made me laugh, I have been asking myself that same question all of my adult life. From the time I was in college I worked on the weekends to support my acting career. I envied “normal” people who brought home regular paychecks with enough left over to enjoy the weekend, which often included having brunch, where someone like me would serve them. I save my weekdays and weeknights for auditions and rehearsals. And of course, when I was in a show – I worked the weekends.

After awhile, I began to see that I was living a privileged life, not a deprived one. I could do all of my errands without having to beat a crowd. I could see a matinee on a Tuesday afternoon. I could enjoy a good book and coffee while the rest of the world was “working”. While this non-traditional life never offered me a retirement plan, I also never planned to retire. I took trips when I wanted, played when I wanted, and had the luxury of living day to day because there was no company ladder to climb or boss to please.

I still work the weekends, and I continue to work everyday for my career and my business. What I love most about it, is that my rest and enjoyment isn’t restricted to just Saturdays, Sundays and holidays. Yes, I have chosen a smaller paycheck in this life, but as every artist knows, freedom and creating art is the paycheck.

A Gift Beneath the Rubble of 9/11

Posted on September 11, 2014 by DC8

I woke up alone this morning, and listened to the lovely silence of the early day, when suddenly I remembered the morning silence of 9-11. That day didn’t start out silent, because I was disconcertingly woken up by my clock radio. I was half in and half out of dreaming about airplanes crashing into buildings for about a half an hour until I realized it wasn’t a dream. I think I froze without panic. It was all so confusing. What was happening? Is this for real? Are my friends and family hearing about this?

At the time, I was living alone (for the first time) in my little studio apartment. Even with seventy-five units crammed against each other, I didn’t really know anyone in the building. Except Andrew. I called him immediately. He said, “We’re all going over to Mari’s.” I walked for thirty minutes without a single aircraft above me. People seemed kinder. Everything was so quiet. I kept looking at the virgin sky that held nothing but birds. When I got to Mari’s house, our Group of Ten was forming: Andrew, Mari, John, Anthony, Margie, Oscar, Laura, Rob, Rachel and me. We sat close and held hands for hours as we watched the day’s broadcast. There wasn’t much discussion, just a lot of dazed confusion.

We were clear across the other side of the country that day, but as every American knows, there was no escaping 9/11 – no matter how removed one was lucky enough to be. After thirteen years, our Group of Ten has disbanded by way of geography, marriage, lifestyle, and even death. Memories keep us together.

What I remember most about 9/11, was the love and warmth and security I felt just sitting there with a group of people who just wanted to be together. Because when you strip everything else away – like the destruction of historic buildings and over 3000 lives in one (OK, four) fell swoops – it’s the only thing that matters.

How Violent Are You Willing to Go?

Posted on September 10, 2014 by DC8

I watched Sons of Anarchy for the first time last night (I know, I know), and hung in there for about 45 minutes. I like gritty shows (my favorite is The Walking Dead), but something about this particular episode bothered me. The plot seemed to take a back seat to the violence, and the violence seemed to focus on torture. I get The Walking Dead – it’s fantasy, zombies, etc., but with all of the real violence covered in our national news: beheadings, school shootings, police shootings, domestic violence, etc. is it redundant to put it in our entertainment? Am I a hypocrite to say this if I love Breaking Bad? I don’t know. Breaking Bad never put storyline in the back seat.

Just this week, I saw a minimum of three casting notices for small independent films all looking for “badass military” types with martial arts experience. All the plot lines centered around lone heroes who violently took the law into their own hands. The meager female roles simply required youth and beauty. With the recent exposure of football pro, Rice, punching his fiance (now wife) unconscious, I became extra sensitive when I watched a brand new rap video depicting gorgeous women as bored, horny, desperate things whose only purpose was to either please the men or annoy them.

Too often, I hear actors make fun of a project they weren’t too proud of and say “Hey it paid the bills!” All my life, I’ve heard that same justification for anything that wasn’t illegal. The American Way is to make cash above all else. But what is our obligation as artists? Are we held to a higher standard? I’m not saying turn down a series regular gig on SOA, or only do projects that are family friendly, but where do we draw the line? Everyone’s “line” is different, but if we know our personal boundaries, then the “almighty gig” won’t create them for us. My mind is spinning with this.

Are We In A Relationship?

Posted on September 8, 2014 by DC8

I got a thank you card today. Well, it wasn’t really a card, so to speak. It was an e-card with a pre-formatted “Thank You”, and they had typed in a quick message. At first I was glad to know that they had received the birthday gift I dropped off, but then I stood back and observed how removed our personal contact has become. I used to think that emails were impersonal, but now I appreciate them more (personal emails that is). I understand that we are all busy, and that a “thank you” is still a “thank you”, but I also know the remarkable difference a personalized letter makes.

Industry professionals get bombarded with Tweets, Facebook plugs, and emails, but how many of them get personal letters from us? Or even postcards with handwritten messages? Yes, we actors must cover a lot of ground, and send announcements to a lot of casting directors, agents, etc. in the most economical way, but we also must pepper in the personal, the sincere, the detailed communication that creates real contact. It’s what makes human relationships . . . human. I’m challenging myself to do this every day. You can join me if you like. I’d love the company.

The Tortured vs. The Healthy Artist

Posted on August 18, 2014 by DC8

As I sit in the fallout of tortured “geniuses” before me, I reflect on how we, in an effort to feel safe, separate our art from our daily living.
I watched the documentary, Salinger, on PBS’ American Masters. As an actor, I’m fascinated with human behavior. Salinger was – is – a writing phenom, but what interested me was how he wrote as opposed to what he wrote. Not long after Catcher in the Rye was published, he moved from Manhattan to Cornish, New Hampshire, an idyllic, sacred place “away from it all”. But unlike most writers, who use their sacred places with scheduled intent, he used it (and his windowless office) non-stop, and it became a place for him to hide. I see obvious parallels to this and the abuse of natural drugs. Originally intended as medicinal and sacred, plant based drugs are now used as modern day transports to “hiding places”.
There’s a false romance that plagues our arts. It is one that says we must be a “mess” in order to be a genius: Van Gogh, Sylvia Plath, Curt Cobain, Whitney Houston, Phillip Seymour Hoffman – you get it. But, come on, we know that it doesn’t have to be that way. We can be “normal” and still fulfill our art purpose. Yet still we continue to romanticize eccentricity bathed in the light of genius and fame. As with Salinger, we categorize his willful separation from his family (and his odd Lolita complex) as just a part of him being a genius, and turn our palms upward. What can you do? Something. I believe we can do something. I wondered, as I watched this documentary, if his work would have benefited from healthy relationships. Could he have created art without having to deny his daughter and wives the affection they so craved? Could being a good father, neighbor, teacher, or husband, have driven him to write even better works?
In the five main areas of life – career, relationships, health, finances and spirituality – artists tend to focus on only one: career. I want to pile all of these areas in the same car, and take a road trip through art. I imagine good health supporting my career. I imagine frequent, in-person contact with loved ones fueling my career. I can see a strong spiritual base inspiring my creativity, and a good financial flow that keeps me abundant in art supplies. Being a loner is considered cool. Being career driven at the expense of personal relationships is deemed admirable (unless you’re a woman). Being an outsider, being separate is considered synonymous with being a genius. It’s also synonymous with being a serial killer. We are not separate. We are not our art. Our art is simply an expression of who we are. And who we are is the sum of all of our parts.

YOU’LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT, KID

Posted on May 17, 2014 by DC8

If you’ve never seen the holiday film, A Christmas Story, I apologize for all of the references here. (Seriously, you’ve never seen A Christmas Story?)

During my recent participation in a business webinar, I botched an opportunity to talk with one of my favorite authors. I love this woman – I’d been listening to her for 7 years – her business and life coaching always gave me something meaty to chew on. (High praise from a vegetarian.) Since my business flow had become stagnant, I felt I needed help. They opened the phone line for questions. I didn’t really have a question, so much as I wanted to talk with her. I thought it’d be kinda cool. Like “touching a rock star”, ya know? I had it all planned out: I’d listen to her other callers first, and formulate my question based in theirs in time for my turn. But I ended up getting through. The screener immediately asked for my name and my question, which I didn’t have. Really – I didn’t think I’d get through! Suddenly, I was about to be “face to face” with my hero, but I never really expected that. This is where I felt like Ralphie in A Christmas Story when he finally gets to sit on Santa’s lap: Put on the spot, I squeezed a lame business question out of my butt. Something about overcoming overwhelm in a sea of competition? What? Whatever – I thought I could reformulate it into a better question before they got to me, right? Not a chance, because not only did I get through, I was also the very first caller! Before I could think, “What was I thinking”, I was on the phone with this world-renowned, life/business coach. When she asked me for my question I, like Ralphie, blurted out the equivalent of “football”. She snatched that up like a single woman diving for a wedding bouquet. This was her cue to launch into old advice I’d heard her give at least a dozen times before. I mean, I was such a big fan that I knew virtually all of her tips. As she went on about something completely irrelevant to me, I felt myself desperately trying to climb back up the “slide”, in an attempt to rephrase my question. All I heard was “blah blah blah” until she finally asked, “Is that true?” No it’s not!! You got it all wrong! is what I wanted to scream, but it was now too late to defend or explain my true situation – the boot had touched my forehead. ChristmasStory_boot I simply replied, “If that’s what you hear from my voice, then it must be true.” Not what she wanted to hear, which prompted her to move on to the next caller. My mic got cut off, and down the slide I went. From somewhere in the “cotton pit”, I heard her say to her partner, “Well, I’m not a mind reader!”

I felt gypped. I felt like I had finally gotten my Little Orphan Annie decoder ring and all I got was a lousy commercial! She gave me old advice. It was a template – cookie-cutter – advice. I was sooo angry and frustrated . . . and embarrassed. I knew it was the wrong advice; it was so clearly the wrong advice – based on the wrong question! So I started to think, well what did I want her to say? What I wanted her to tell me was . . . Wait! This is when I realized that I knew all along what the right advice was. OMG – It wasn’t a matter of me needing her or any other expert’s opinion. It was a matter of me just doing what I needed to do! The hard truth: without accountability or support, I had cycled into over thinking, fear and procrastination. This “Doh!” moment propelled me into action. I immediately dug out a list of objectives I had begun in January and began with my most difficult task: reaching out to people I didn’t know. Scary.

A month later, I still know it’s the right thing to do, and I’m committed. I’ve been told that real progress – more often than not – is made with just ten seconds of outrageous courage. Not only do I believe it – I know it.

EITHER WAY YOU ARE RIGHT

Posted on April 14, 2014 by DC8

Either way you are right. I plucked that fortune out of a cookie some time ago, and I’ve kept it floating around my kitchen Fortune ever since. Every now and then when I’m making toast or blending a smoothie, that little slip of paper pops up to greet me. I like to keep the fortunes that resonate with me, even if they’re not really fortunes.

Early Wednesday morning, I stepped out of the way as a teenage girl ran past me, wedging her way through the morning crowd. I usually avoid the high school route on my morning walks, but ya gotta mix it up every now and then, right? Her puffy, black hi-tops and bouncing backpack made her look smaller and more awkward than she probably was. She seemed a bit desperate, yet quite focused as she kept repeating, “I’m late. I’m late. I’m late. I’m late. I’m late.” Like Alice’s White Rabbit, she disappeared down the path. I laughed inside as I remembered being that girl – and then I remembered who I was just the day before.

I was “double-booked”, so to speak, for both a commercial audition and a print job at the same time. All parties agreed that if I showed up super early to one, I could be a few minutes late to the other – no later than 11:00 am! Everything had to go perfectly. I left my place three minutes later than planned (ugh), then there was an accident on the 134 Freeway (oh, come on!), and then there was no immediate parking (really?). Still, I was 4 minutes early. Awesome, I can just jump in and out of this audition super quick, right? But then I was handed a script. Script? No one said anything about a script??! I got to work, and made the lines my own in five minutes. I’m ready! Nope. I had to wait for my scene partner to show up. When he finally arrived, he had the same reaction, “Script? No one said anything about a script!” By the time he was ready, I was five minutes behind my perfect schedule. Four takes and a thirty minute drive later, I pulled up to the print shoot exactly on time, but the only parking was across a six lane boulevard! Pulling my suitcase full of wardrobe behind me, I arrived at 11:04 am, only to find out that they didn’t even need me until after lunch! Was I aggravated? Nope, not at all. You see, I knew this was going to happen, because before I walked out the door that morning, I had declared that everything would work out fine. I couldn’t predict how things would work out – I just kept repeating, It’s all going to work out fine. It’s all going to work out fine.

I wanted to find that teenage girl, and reassure her that everything would work out fine if she just switched her words from I’m late to All is well. I know there are no magic words that change reality, but I have experienced “magic thoughts” that have changed my perception of reality. And when you change your perception of the world, your world changes.